When I was a child, my mother and I used to attend Sunday mass every week. It was a ritual. She believed that church was a place of peace, forgiveness and most importantly, worship. Although we haven’t attended our church in a few years, we both have become religious in our own ways. So, it wasn’t a surprise to me when she handed me rosary beads before giving me a tight hug; brief, but a feeling no one forgets. “Take these rosary beads,” she said. “Remember God is always with you, and so am I.” I always associate these rosary beads with that moment and today, it still brings tears to my eyes.
The beads together are about a foot long. The rosary is filled with yellow beads down a long metal chain. The separation between the beads from start to finish are about a half centimeter apart, with some variation as you go down the beads. They then become about a centimeter apart in some areas, but return to half a centimeter. As you continue on the chain of bright yellow beads, like a ring of suns attached to one another, the chains meet at an end. The ends are attached to an oval metal piece. On the oval is an engraved figure of the Virgin Mary. As you continue to scan the rosary beads, the metal pieces become one and are hooked to a cross, where Jesus is engraved with arms spread, a depiction of the day of his death. At the end, the rosary beads continue to have variations between one centimeter and a half a centimeter apart.
The beads are sphere-like and soft. Rosary beads come in all different types of materials, but mine seem to be pearls. The cross’ edges are sharp and as I begin to touch it, my thumb slowly elevates with the shape of Jesus’ body. Above the cross, Mary’s figure on the oval is less dominant. The sides of the oval are smooth, and her body creates less elevation as you rub your fingers on top of the oval. When you put the beads in your hand and shake, they create a jingle. It’s not loud or obnoxious, but there’s a clear tune when the beads hit each other. It reminds me of the time when I used to play with my grandmother’s rosary beads, located at the top of her dresser. She didn’t like that very much.
Although the rosary beads stand for a religious symbol, I have modified it to mean so much more. The beads and chain symbolize the connection my mother and I have. As it becomes one, I realize that we are one in the same. She’s my best friend. I find myself praying when times are difficult, and realizing that just like God, my mother is also with me. Although not present in the place where I stand, she’s just a phone call away. She’s proud of me and what I’ve become, but I think I’m more proud of her. It takes courage, determination and love to be who she is.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still religious today. I usually take the rosary beads with me when I need to travel or when I’m afraid. I stick them in my pockets and grab them at my most vulnerable moments. I also pray with them. I usually just fiddle with them or wrap the beads around my hands and pray. I’ll sometimes say a prayer, or just talk to God. Of course, everyone has their own view on religion. But, I find that there’s comfort in knowing there’s a higher power looking over me, or maybe it’s just my mom.
The Materials of History, Thought, and Art 
Great description of your rosary beads! I found myself repeatedly scrolling up to the picture to connect what you described in words to the actual picture. When you started to describe how it felt in your hands and the sound it makes when you shake it, I wanted to reach out and touch the beads for myself! The rosary beads really seem to be a bug part of you. Its touching how its represents such a strong connection between you and your mother as well as your religion. It must be a huge source of comfort. Do you think you’ll ever pass it on one day as well? Do you know where your mother got the beads from too?
Thanks Sue. You know, I think I might keep these beads. However, I might pass down other beads to my own children. I have no idea where she got them from, but they’ll always be with me.
Your perspective on religion–as both a connection with God and your mother–touches me, as I’m sure it touches other readers. My mother and I struggle with religion in different ways, yet we come together on the notion that religion is a communal tie, in the same way that you and your mother connect via the rosary beads. My mom teaches Jewish History at a local reformed temple; every once in a while she confesses to me that she does not want to impose God onto fourth- and fifth-graders, and I remind her that one can still find religion through the ceremonies, the holidays, and the warm familial bonds shared in those special moments. I have an item to symbolize such, but not nearly as special as your beads. Sue is right; the very meticulous details invite us back to the picture, hoping the image will spring forth from our computer screens and end up in our hands. Speaking of symbols of boundless love and faith, I’m going to put on my chai necklace.
Aw thanks Jaime !
Everything about this post was lovely…. and it almost brought tears to my eyes!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing that deep connection you share with your mother and God because it was so touching and reminded me so much of my own connections. Your detailed description of your beads was phenomenal; you really took the time out to account and acknowledge every detail you could give and I think that is awesome and really challenging. I particularly enjoyed your descriptions of Mary and Jesus and the role Mary plays on the beads. It’s ironic in a sense, as according to the Catholic religion these beads do represent “Mary’s prayer” but you describe her figure as being less dominant compared to Christ’s body. It sounds to me like you have a beautiful relationship with your religion and your mother and I hope you never lose that.
I’m happy you enjoyed it! It was quite challenging, but I didn’t mind sharing the description of the beads since they mean so much to me. As for my relationship with my mom, it is pretty unique. We do argue at times but at the end of the day, she’s my best friend. I’m sure you share a similar relationship with one of your family members or friends.