John is a friend I met last year through a job, and ever since then we have had one of those friendships that blossoms against time. What I mean by that is that our relationship defies all the notions and conventions of becoming friends because of how quickly we were to open up our living spaces to each other. In a matter of days, I was already hanging out in his room and he in mine. I have decided to write about John’s living space because ever since meeting him I have been puzzled about how he manages to live and function undisturbed and surrounded by heaps of clothing on the floor and on his bed. When you walk into John’s room the first thing you notice is nothing, everything is all over the place and there is no focal point in his room that particularly draws your attention. He has clothes on the floor, his dresser, his bed, his closet and even on his desk and they are not arranged in any specific manner. John has some wall decorations but the one he always mentions and perhaps the only part of his room that is put together is beside his bed. The wall is a collage of pictures with people he unconditionally loves. John would always point this out to me when he caught me staring at the unfamiliar faces on his wall.
Part of why John and I clicked is because we had heard about each other from a mutual friend but most importantly because he is one of the most hardworking, competent, amazing and the most careless person I have ever met. From the start, this combination of qualities was unheard of for me because I always associated smart, intelligent and amazing people with organization and structure, but John did not just fit that narrow box of mine. Picturing John’s room as I write I can now understand how his living space is a direct reflection of him. John is one of those people that has meltdowns the night before an essay because he had procrastinated for too long but he was also one of those people that would wake up at 6am to go visit grad schools across the nation. Again, it almost seems like I am writing about two different people but this is the type of person John is, and his messy and chaotic room reflected his character and how nonchalant he is. From having his clothes thrown all over his room, John demonstrates that he is a carefree person that does not need too much structure for him to feel happy or at peace. The collage of pictures on his wall show that he is a person that values friendships and his family while the amount of clothes he owned shows his love for looking and feeling good.
John has a certain nature of urgency about him because he would always put himself in situations that required him to be nervous and act fast and his room was exactly the same way. His belongings were always scattered and always required of him that sense of urgency he lives off. After knowing John for a couple of months, I came to realize that John is a person that does not plan and does not need to because as long as he knew what he had to do he did it, but in his own way. John’s room is a reflection of his personality but it is also a reflection of his upbringing in a society that requires so little structure of men. We live in a society that thinks that masculinity means being rough and having imperfections and part of that is carried into their living spaces and John’s room exemplifies how our place in society in addition to our upbringing and personality affects the way we arrange our living space. I say this because I know that part of me being a very organized person is that it was expected of me as a young girl to not be messy.
The Materials of History, Thought, and Art 
Your choice to describe and analyze your friend John’s living space seems like a very interesting one, given that you’ve mentioned in class how organized and particular you are in your own space. I like the way that you try to understand how he can live in his more messy way from his perspective and not your own. You don’t seem fazed by the difference, and in fact, you seem to embrace it as part of the package that is John. It is also nice that you acknowledge that while he is different in his approach than you, he is nonetheless successful in his endeavors. Evidently, as this course is making me come to realize that much more clearly, living spaces are in no way one-size-fits-all.
That message in your post reminded me about my brother and my room at home. Sometimes, I just can’t understand how he lives and functions because he rarely tidies up at all. When he comes home from traveling (or really anything that requires packing a suitcase) he just leaves his clothes and most of his belongings in the suitcase. Things like that make me crazy, partly because that means there’s a big suitcase that’s hard to maneuver around on the floor in our shared room, and partly because I simply can’t understand why anyone would want to live like that anyway. I, by comparison, often unpack the very same day I get somewhere. I’ve only more recently been able to start to understand that that’s just his way, and that even if it’s unfathomable to me, that’s what works for him.
Khaddija, this was such an insightful post. It’s interesting how we oftentimes associate organization and cleanliness with smart and sedulous people, and when that expectation is defied, how confusing it can be for us. I remember bringing this topic up in conversation when the class was discussing the Konmari method, and how I personally know a decent amount of people who thrive in chaotic environments. I have never understood how these people function is such messes, but when I’ve asked them on multiple occasions, they usually say it helps them with their artistic processes. It seems that as people, we sort of gain energy from our environments, whether that’s more of a messy or clean sort of space.
Overall super insightful post this week! I enjoyed reading it!
I really liked your point about how intelligence and self-expression are inherently gendered in a way. I’m a lot like you–I can’t concentrate on the work I need to do if my living space is messy. I would never invite friends over to my apartment if there were clothes strewn about my floor. And I do think that is a way in which women have been socialized; we must clean before we can think of doing anything else, whether it’s our school work or hanging out with a friend. This isn’t to say I don’t know messy women, my best friend from high school is a lovely girl but an absolute slob. But this is an anomaly in a sense, and in contrast I can’t really think of any men I know who keep their living spaces even half as pristine as I do. There are a ton of different ways I could theorize about this as a WGS student, but I think a lot of it is probably self-explanatory.