This Havdalah Spice Box has been in my family for generations. Passed down through my mom’s side of the family, no one knows when or how we acquired it. The original ownership papers were lost during the Holocaust, so there is no documentation regarding its purchase. My great grandmother, Ruhla, is the first person we are aware of who owned it. We know that she inherited it, but unfortunately, both her and my grandmother Rebecca passed away years ago. As such, we never learned who she inherited it from. My mom speculates that we acquired it in Huși, a North-East province of Romania. There’s a strong Jewish community there, and it’s where my grandmother was raised.

Composed of silver filigree, the spice box is exactly 12” tall. The base is 4” by 4”, and the top half is 2” by 2”. A Havdalah Spice Box is used during Friday night Sabbath. A mixture of cloves, cinnamon, and cardamom is placed inside. Afterward, the box is passed around, its fragrant scents inhaled.

My mother, Ingrid, immigrated to America from Romania at 13 years old in 1974. At the same time, Ruhla moved to Israel to live with my mother’s aunt, Nutsi. In 1981, Ruhla immigrated to America, living with Ingrid and Rebecca until she passed away in 1996. Unfortunately, she had a massive stroke in 1985, leaving her unable to take care of herself. As such, Rebecca became her caretaker. My mom says that Rebecca worked very hard to make Ruhla comfortable. When creating her will, Ruhla decided that the spice box would be passed down to Rebecca.

However, the will was never written down. Ruhla verbally told Rebecca it was hers, which caused a massive family feud about 20 years ago.

In 2002, my grandmother loaned the spice box to her nephew, Gabi. His son, Ross, wanted to show it off at his Hebrew school. He was supposed to return it after a couple of weeks, but they didn’t. When confronted about it, Gabi’s wife, Brenda, claimed that the spice box belonged to them. After a lot of arguing, they finally returned it in 2007.

When asked about the spice box, Brenda told me that Nutsi’s father, David, wanted Nutsi to inherit it. There is no written evidence of this, as David didn’t create a will. He passed away in 1967 from stomach cancer. As such, my side of the family argued that it was Ruhla’s to give away, since she was the sole owner at the time of her passing.

To this day, Brenda claims that the spice box is rightfully theirs. When Rebecca passed away in 2018, Brenda mentioned the spice box at the shiva. We refused to give it back, and now the spice box sits in our living room. When I interviewed her for this paper, she even started to get angry about it.

She claimed that since her side of the family is more religious, they would use the box for its intended purpose. However, my mom countered that by saying her heritage is just as important to our side of the family as the practice of Judaism is to Brenda’s family. Since 1981, the spice box has been on our side of the family. Throughout my mother’s childhood, Rebecca would prominently display the spice box in the living room, placed in a fine wood cabinet. There’s a lot of emotion attached to this box, which nearly tore a family apart.

Works Cited

Iosefson, Brenda. Interview. 11 Feb. 2023.

“Spice Box.” The Jewish Museum London, 2021, https://jewishmuseum.org.uk/schools/asset/spice-box/#:~:text=The%20spices%20used%20in%20the,separation%20of%20work%20and%20rest. Accessed 16 Feb. 2023.

Veiss, Ingrid. Interview. 12 Feb. 2023.